Relationship difficulties are what so may people bring to therapy. Whether it is a falling out with a family member, someone at work, a friend or your partner, breakdowns in communication can be very upsetting and the repercussions can spread to the people around you. When children are involved the pressure is even higher.

Each person in a relationship is an individual and will have their own personal needs to be met. Then their joint needs to be considered. Please see the ‘Further help’ section on emotional needs and the Human Givens Approach.

Very often arguments involve a great deal of emotions such as anger, jealousy, frustration or stress. When emotions rise significantly the thinking part of your brain shuts down as the ‘fight’ response flares up ready to attack (in evolution terms this would have been important when facing enemy tribes or dangerous wild animals). At this point blame, black and white thinking, unfairness and control over the argument or situation makes finding a compromise or solution very difficult.

Either as an individual or as a couple we can practice techniques to work the disagreements or on communicating without unfair criticism. Just expressing your discontent in a positive way can make all the difference. I can show you how to stay in the present and to avoid constantly bringing up events and misdemeanors from the past as often they stop you from moving on. My therapy room is conveniently based in Brockham, between Reigate, Dorking and Horley.

If you affected by the issues described on this page please contact me for a free consultation

Sally Nilsson Therapist